In March, the feds conducted open and notorious raids on Sean Diddy Combs’s many homes. These raids telegraphed their intent to arrest him on a slew of sex-trafficking and racketeering charges. Therefore, it came as no surprise when they finally did so last night or that a judge denied his $50 million bail request today.

The evidence is utterly damning. He’s bound to be convicted on all charges. Then, Diddy and his bird-of-a-feather, R Kelly, can hang out together — ‘Forever’! It’s poetic justice that, despite paying off Cassie and many other victims, he still ended up in prison, where he belongs.

Pardon me, but how much did you pay for your pardon?

That said, if I were Diddy in this doo-doo, I’d have my manager donate $25 million to a major Kamala PAC with no disclosure requirement, making it clear I expected a pardon in December 2028, reelected or not. But I’d wait to see if Trump strikes lightning in a bottle again by doing to Kamala what he did to Hillary. Then, I’d have my manager offer to funnel $10 million directly to Trump, making it clear I expected a pardon no later than December 2026.

Still, he should prepare to spend the rest of his life in prison. But there’s a silver lining: “freak offs” behind bars are reportedly to die for…