Royalty: Not what it used to be – not even in America…

Princess Michael of Kent: Don’t you know who I am!

Recently, in an unguarded moment, Princess Michael of Kent unleashed a little of that English white mischief that not too long ago incited natives into rebellion and led to the fall of the British Empire.

The occasion was a fancy New York City restaurant where the Princess was dining lavishly at the expense of her American patrons. Nearby, however, were some native New Yorkers who were enjoying their usual fare – at their usual table. But, whereas the hosts of this free-loading Royal had no problem with their jovial fellow diners, SHE found their indifference to her presence impudent and utterly unacceptable.

So, she went over to where they were seated, conspicuously, at a more privileged table, steadied her quivering upper lip and – in her most imperious voice – uttered this wonderfully ironic reprimand: “Why don’t you all go back to the colonies.”

No she didn’t? Oh yes she did!

Well, one can get a fair sense of the consequences for the Princess from just knowing that these diners were black Americans. But when one realizes that amongst them were a famous music mogul, a Wall St. banker and a corporate lawyer, only then does the magnitude of this royal gaffe become manifest.

And so it followed that before her humiliated and petrified hosts could cry “check!”, the owner of the restaurant was ushering the Princess (and them) out the door, reportedly, to the derisive and uproarious laughter of all diners.

Of course, in typical royal stupor, this Princess pauper will probably spend the rest of her days wondering why rich Americans have taken her off their rent-a-Royal list.

The Princess and her pussy cat…

But, to seal her royal stereotype, the Princess offered the following to confirm she is not only racist but also very stupid:

Last week, in a delightfully ironic twist, the Princess was being interviewed on French radio about her greatest love – “cats”. And, in a royal attempt to impress her host, she said in French “My cat is black and white”.

Much to her horror, however, London tabloids were keen to report that the French word she used for cat was “ma chatte” – which happens to be the word uneducated Frenchmen use for the most intimate part of a woman’s body (and never as an alternative for the furry little thing the Princess is cuddling in her lap).

Quel embarras!

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