After Donald Trump threw his hat into the ring yesterday, you’d have thought the contest for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination could not become any more of a circus.
But candidate Lindsey Graham may have just topped (or trumped) Trump. For, after raising eyebrows by promising to have “rotating first ladies” if elected president, here is the pusillanimous way this 60-year-old, lifelong bachelor is explaining his “failure” to marry:
The opportunity never presented itself at the right time, or I never found time to meet the right girl, or the right girl was smart enough not to have time for me. I haven’t been lucky that way.
(Daily Mail, June 17, 2015)
Now, is it just me, or does his explanation for living as a single man seem every bit as tortured, convoluted, and ultimately deceptive as Rachel Dolezal’s explanation for living as a Black woman? Honestly, how can any self-respecting presidential candidate “face the nation” professing nonsense like this?
More to the point, though, only a fool would vote for a presidential candidate who is so inept he can’t find himself a wife. This speaks volumes, and raises so many red (pink, orange, yellow, green, turquoise, blue, and violet) flags, on so many levels….
He would’ve made more sense if he had simply professed no interest in marriage … period.
To be fair, Graham writes — in his just-released campaign bio — that he once came very close to marrying a Lufthansa flight attendant. Except that any heterosexual man will tell you that this is rather like bragging about once coming very close to marrying a trapeze artist from the traveling Cirque du Soleil show.
But, given his decision to regale us with catfish tales about distant lovers, it’s only a matter of time before a reporter asks Graham about his love life today. If I were that reporter, the interview would go something like this:
REPORTER: You come across like such a romantic in that story from 30 years ago, senator, are you romancing anyone today?
GRAHAM: No, but like I said, I’ve been unlucky since then, and I really don’t have the time; what with performing my senatorial duties and campaigning for president and all.
REPORTER: I see, so you’re content to continue playing the field and, like you said, have rotating first ladies in the White House. But doesn’t that make a mockery of the traditional Christian values you espouse?
GRAHAM: No, no, no, I was only kidding … I don’t want people thinking that!
REPORTER: Well, senator, you seem to be living the life of a Catholic priest. And, given still unfolding church scandals, I’m not sure you want American voters thinking that about your personal life either. But we’re out of time. Thank you, and Good luck.
In any event, I suspect the straight story is that Graham never married because the “right girl” for him has always been a boy. Which is why Caitlyn Jenner might be a perfect match.
Indeed, Graham has already started a media flirtation with “her”:
If Caitlyn Jenner wants to be a Republican, she is welcome in my party.”
(CNN, June 9, 2015)
Only in America folks….