Regular readers know that I’ve been unsparing in my criticism of Prince Albert II of Monaco – not only for living a notoriously promiscuous lifestyle, but also for fathering children (2 that we know of) out of wedlock.
He incited my most indignant ire when he renounced the birthright of his black son in favor of vesting it in his white nephew. I argued in a previous commentary that, since he did this after sober deliberation, and not in a drunken stupor, it betrayed an untenable and unforgivable strain of racism. Furthermore, that this racist act made him unworthy of membership on the International Olympic Committee (IOC), or of serving as patron of the World Music Awards, at which, ironically, mostly black celebrities praise him for his humanitarian work.
Nevertheless, the good news is that it seems this international bounder has finally decided to make an honest woman out of one of his concubines. For reports are that he has chosen former South African Olympic swimmer (on a medley-relay team that finished 5th) and Sports Illustrated model, Charlene Wittstock, 28, to be his princess. I wish them well…
Incidentally, no matter how promiscuous and racist he is, I’m sure many women would sell their body and soul to be Albert’s bride.
(Prince Albert’s getting married, no more babies out of wedlock? The iPINIONS Journal, August 4, 2006)
This, in part, is how I commented five years ago when it was first reported that Albert (53) had settled on Charlene (33). Clearly, even though I wished them well, I could not have been more cynical in observing that Albert is no prince charming and woe betide the woman who marries him. This is why I suggested that only a gold digger would consider him a great catch, implying of course that Charlene had to be one.
Well, it turns out I was right about him, but only partially right about her. Because reports are that she “tried to flee three times” to avoid having to go through with her three-day royal wedding, which began on Friday.
The new Princess Charlene of Monaco tried to flee home to South Africa three times before her ‘arranged marriage’ to Prince Albert, it was alleged.
The former Charlene Wittstock … reportedly made her first escape attempt when she travelled to Paris in May to try on her wedding dress. During the visit, she ‘took refuge’ in her country’s embassy in the French capital, sources in Monaco said. The allegations, which are surprising considering she went ahead with the wedding on Saturday, emerged in the French newspaper Le Journal du Dimanche.
It went on to report that later in May, Charlene made a second apparent attempt to escape during the Monaco Formula 1 Grand Prix. Then, last week, royal officials are said to have confiscated her passport en route to Nice airport via the helicopter service that runs between the Mediterranean principality and France. She was then persuaded to go on with the marriage.
‘Several sources have confirmed that an arrangement was reached between the future bride and groom,’ reported Le Journal du Dimanche
(London Telegraph, July 4, 2011)
Naturally, one wonders what could possibly have caused Charlene to flee. After all, she not only waited years for this big day, but knew about his two illegitimate children and could not have had any illusions about his love for, or fidelity to, her.
News reports would have us believe that, when it comes to illegitimate children, even Charlene has her limits. Because here, according to the Telegraph report cited above, is what constituted the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back:
In the new claims reported in the JDD, the newspaper quoted Monaco ‘policy advisors’ among those discussing ‘two illegitimate children – one already born, the other to come’.
So she can deal with him having two, but not four?! I wonder how many mistresses she considers acceptable….
Anyway, I can’t help thinking that she could have avoided this patently loveless marriage if she really wanted. Are we to believe, for example, that her country’s Parisian embassy simply refused to give her refuge and safe passage back home to South Africa?
Indeed, the fact that Albert is flying her home to South Africa today for the first stop on their honeymoon makes all of her attempts to flee there seem rather contrived. The irony is not lost on me that they will be hosted there by that country’s polygamous president, Jacob Zuma, who has fathered so many children with so many women that he makes Albert seem relatively monogamous. Not to mention that Charlene’s family members have already become so vested in the perks and privileges that will redound to them by this marriage that running home would be tantamount to facing a firing squad.
I appreciate the anachronistic custom among royal families of using marriages to make strategic alliances between their respective countries. This is what many people believe motivated Albert’s father to marry the Hollywood royal, Grace Kelly. But I doubt Charlene was laying back and thinking of South Africa as she was auditioning to play Albert’s princess. And I can’t imagine South Africa figured in Albert’s thinking much beyond the fact that it produced a young woman who bears an uncanny resemblance to his late mother, which I suppose appealed to his reputed oedipal complex.
That said, the reason I was only partially right about Charlene being a gold-digger is that I suspect she tried to runaway because she was genuinely conflicted about this marriage. But it hardly reflects well on her that the only thing her attempts to escape reportedly accomplished was to force Albert to renegotiate the financial terms of their prenuptial agreement; i.e., to make them more lucrative for her.
Which means that just days before their marriage she managed to make Monaco’s ruling prince look not only like the last person in the world she wanted to marry, but also like a desperate old fool who had to pay a king’s ransom to get her to marry him. No wonder Albert could barely contain his resentment every time he looked at her during their lavish $75 million ceremony on Saturday.
Even worse, he must have known that reports about her attempts to flee had everyone thinking that the tears she kept shedding were not tears of joy, but of sadness. Never mind my consoling thought that all of those diamonds and tiaras will help her get over those crocodile tears soon enough.
Frankly, Charlene’s pre-marital antics coupled with her maudlin countenance throughout her big day made this wedding seem rather funereal. Which is why the snookered Albert was probably grateful that William and Catherine’s royal visit to Canada sucked up a lot of the media coverage that would otherwise have been dedicated to his connubial farce.
NOTE: No doubt part of their arrangement is that she will produce a male heir ASAP; because, as indicated above, Albert has already ruled out any chance of any of his illegitimate children ascending Monaco’s Monegasque throne.
If there’s a God, Charlene will turn out to be barren….
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Prince Albert’s getting married…