Icy Baptism Exposes 'He-man' Putin as a Shivering Wimp

Russian President Vladimir Putin has gone to extreme lengths over the years to burnish his he-man image.

I duly ridiculed him in commentaries like “Hail Putin,” December 3, 2007, “Putin’s Photo-Op Flop,” October 20, 2010, and “Putin’s Divorce Dents Public Armor,” June 12, 2013, which includes this abiding observation:

Putin has become an international laughingstock for staging photo ops to make himself look more like an action hero than a political leader. Not least because so many of his stunts, like pretending to escort migrating cranes in a glider, make him look more like Johnny English than James Bond.

Now comes this:

Russian President Vladimir Putin has taken a dip in icy lake waters to celebrate Epiphany, a major holiday in Orthodox Christianity marking the baptism of Jesus.

Russian television stations have shown the 65-year-old Putin approaching a hole cut in the ice on Lake Seliger in northwestern Russia and then dunking himself in and crossing himself.

(CBS News, January 19, 2018)

No doubt he got the desired effect from commentators who swooned over his bare chest – religiously adorned with gangsta-like chain and cross pendant. But he exposed his wimpiness when it came time to dunk himself.

For it was bad enough that he began by holding his nose. But then, instead of fully submerging himself, he allowed the water to crest barely above his chin. This, while real men (and women) not only fully submerged themselves, but did so three times.

Even worse, though, when Putin popped up, he had that reflexive look of fright you always see on the face of little girls struggling for dear life in Jaws movies.

His aides dare not tell Putin how stupid his he-man stunts make him look. Like aides who dare not tell Kim Jong-un how weak his military threats make him look, they fear losing their jobs … or much worse.

All the same, better to have them live out their chest-thumping fantasies through harmless theatrics than deadly maneuvers – like test-launching nuclear missiles (Lil’ Kim).

(“Earth to Putin: He-Man Stunts Make You Look Stupid, Not Strong,” The iPINIONS Journal, August 22, 2015)

Hail, Pootie!

Mind you, all ridiculing aside, the world would be a lot safer today if President Trump were into these Putin-style stunts to show off his manhood. Unfortunately, he’s into Kim-style nuclear brinkmanship – complete with taunts about who has the bigger nuclear button. #PutUpOrShutUp

Incidentally, apropos of my allusion to Jaws, I cannot resist sharing this tidbit. It’s courtesy of Stormy Daniels, the porn-star now enjoying her 15 minutes of fame because of an alleged affair she had with Trump in 2006: