But let me assure all of you that, if these reports are true, he would merely be hoping against hope that the Court of Appeal will squash the results of the paternity test. Meanwhile, with undisguised schadenfreude, I shall hereby disabuse Stern of his psychopathic hope by asserting, without fear of contradiction, that he stands a snowball’s chance in hell of winning such an appeal. And that, if filed, it would be dismissed summarily!
But even if they are untrue, there is still probable cause to suspect that Stern’s antic state of mind is endangering the welfare of this child; notwithstanding the devoted care of her Bahamian Mammies.
After all, his (unnatural) reluctance to establish his paternity – to legally, biologically and conclusively dismiss Larry Birkhead’s claims – is prima facie suspicious. Then, of course, there’s his alleged role in the uncanny circumstances surrounding the death of Anna Nicole and her son, Daniel.
Therefore, I urge His Lordship to give emergency instructions for our Department of Social Services to immediately place this child in protective care pending the outcome of this surreal paternity (and custody) case.
NOTE: For those who are anxiously awaiting the (anti-climactic) results of this paternity test, which should be known by this weekend, I regret to inform you that – according to reliable sources – the judge has ordered that they remain sealed until 3 April. Therefore, I encourage you to use this respite to reacquaint your brain with other news-worthy matters – like Angelina’s new adoption or VoteforWorst.com’s ironic effort to make American Idol even more of a national farce by sabotaging the votes – at least until 26 March, when the inquest into Daniel’s death is scheduled to convene.
Related Articles:
Clarifying the legal mess Anna Nicole left behind
Resolving the legal mess Anna Nicole left behind
Anna Nicole baby paternity
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