Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Hear Ye! My final word on global warming!

Last week, the news was saturated with simmering reports about the heat wave that had most North Americans suffering through Death-Valley summer temperatures. Therefore, I cannot blame 60 Minutes, the most popular TV news program in the United States, for capping those reports on Sunday evening with an opportunistic re-broadcast of its Chicken-Little piece on global warming (after promoting it all weekend with images of arctic glaciers melting to maximize interest, if not hysteria).

But it’s a public disservice for the media – through meteorological and environmental experts – to exploit people’s singed brains by proselytizing global warming propaganda as scientific fact. Indeed, it’s a wonder that all reports on this heat wave did not end with a thank you to former VP Al Gore for the convenient truth he dramatizes in “An Inconvenient Truth”, which has become the celluloid bible for global warming disciples.

Nevertheless, I am convinced that all of the preaching about global warming is just hot air. I hasten to add, however, that I have no doubt the planet is getting warmer (by a sweltering 1°F (.17°C) every 100 years … ouch!), the Americans are (primarily) to blame and it’s going to get even warmer. But I also have no doubt that this warming is due far more to natural climate variations (i.e. a cyclical phenomenon) than to man-made CO2 emissions.

At any rate, no matter what we do – including plunging the world into a nuclear winter – Mother Nature will have her way with us, just as she had with the Dinosaurs that roamed the earth 250 – 150 million years ago. (Of course, if you must get hysterical about any looming man-made disaster, the prospect of nuclear conflagration is far more worthy….)

But think about it folks, the Dinosaurs had a good 200 million years. (Before, I suppose, their flatulence caused so much ozone depletion that the Sun’s harmful UV rays came beaming through big holes in the ozone layer and killed them off.) Therefore, is there any reason to doubt that we’ll have at least 100 million years, only 4 to 5 of which we’ve used up so far? (Before, I suppose, our CO2 emissions cause melting glaciers to drown us in another flood, which – I remind all ye of little faith – God promised would never happen. So, who ya gonna trust: Gore or GOD?)

Cheeky attitude, I know. But I invite anyone who wonders what informs my conviction in this regard to browse my previous articles here and here for a little insight.

However, for those whose understanding of global warming extends only as far as they can see and feel (as the seasons go), I invite you to consider the follow:

Last week, as North Americans were in heat and wailing homage to the false prophet of global warming, they could be forgiven the naïve belief that they were truly experiencing Gore’s Earth-in-the-Balance gospel. But the truth of the matter is, the only earth-in- the-balance phenomenon that occurred last week was that – as they were sweating bullets – South Africans (like those pictured left in this Aug 3 photo from the Washington Post) were breathing the fog of unprecedented winter cold. In fact, these Africans were in deep freeze and cursing the “freak of nature” that had snow falling in their Karoo desert. Global warming indeed….

Although, since the purported facts supporting the global warming theory are so specious, Gore et al might well argue that because the Americans emit such a disproportionate amount of the CO2 gases that cause global warming, it’s no surprise that they suffer its effects disproportionately. (Of course, one has to imagine Ronald Reagan’s star-wars shield serving as a trap to contain the greenhouse gases Americans pollute into the atmosphere and that – by fate of environmental justice – this is why they are suffering the acute ravages of global warming hot air….)

But seriously, even though the son of a preacher man, I’m no preacher. Therefore, here are some cold hard facts to cool-off your brain and save your mind from global warming hysteria – courtesy of no less authorities than the Cato Institute and the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA):

As much as you may believe that last week was the hottest on record; in fact, that dubious distinction dates back to 1922 – decades before global warming became the yuppie political spawn of hippie self-consciousness; And, this July was only the second hottest on record, with that dubious distinction dating back to July 1936;

Moreover, Patrick Michaels, senior fellow for environmental studies at Cato, cautioned in a CNS report last week that from June 1 to August 31, 1930, 21 days had high temperatures that were 100 degrees or above in the metropolitan Washington, D.C., area. And that that summer has never been approached, and it’s not going to be approached this year;

The highest temperature recorded anywhere on Earth was in Aziziyah, Libya, in September of 1922 – 136 degrees Fahrenheit; And,

The highest temperature recorded in the United States was in Death Valley, Calif., in July of 1913 – 134 degrees Fahrenheit.

NOTE: About the dramatic images of glaciers melting, try sucking on this bit of info about Arctic and Antarctic ice:

Between 52 and 57 million years ago, the Earth was relatively
warm. Tropical conditions actually extended all the way into the mid-latitudes (around northern Spain or the central United States for example), polar regions experienced temperate climates, and the difference in temperature between the equator and pole was much smaller than it is today. Indeed it was so warm that trees grew in both th
e Arctic and Antarctic, and alligators lived in Ellesmere Island at 78 degrees North.

The present ice age began 40 million years ago with the growth of an ice sheet in Antarctica, but intensified during the Pleistocene age (starting around 3 million years ago) with the spread of ice sheets in the Northern Hemisphere. Since then, the world has seen cycles of glaciation with ice sheets advancing and retreating on 40,000 and 100,000 year time scales. The last glacial period ended about 10,000 years ago.

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