Nothing demonstrates what a double-edged sword Twitter can be quite like the spectacle Demi and Ashton have made of themselves by exposing every nook and cranny of their daily lives to the millions of twits who follow them.
They clearly should have known that when things go bad (as was inevitable), those millions of followers would feel entitled to know every detail. Which is why the backlash over attempts by these two nincompoops to be discreet now about their marital woes is so unforgiving and unyielding.
Here are some of the prescient comments I made about their trendy cougar marriage a year ago:
What makes their spectacle so sad, if not pathetic, is the fact that it’s the older and presumably more mature Demi who has been twittering like a teenager gushing about her first crush.
But the lady doth profess too much, methinks. And nothing is more embarrassing in this respect than the pictures she’s been tweeting, showing off her surgically enhanced body – as if to show all of the twenty-somethings out there that they really have to be on their game to steal her man.
(Married fools…, The iPINIONS Journal, September 23, 2010)
Well, evidently, many of them were … on their game. But Demi continually turned a blind eye to Ashton’s roving eye, which had all kinds of people tweeting about seeing him in all kinds of compromising positions with the very twenty-somethings Demi feared.
In fact, so willfully blind and desperate was she that she even joined Ashton in tweeting threats about suing Star magazine for defaming him by calling him a cheater. But here is what I wrote in this same commentary about those threats:
Of course, we all know that threatening to sue is one thing; suing is quite another. And since there’s been no word about Star being sued, we have to assume that Ashton’s lawyer advised him that truth is an absolute defense against any claim of defamation. Not to mention that more girls are likely to come out of the woodwork…
In any case, the real pity here is that instead of emulating Tiger’s wife Elin Nordegren or Jesse’s wife Sandra Bullock by kicking her cheating husband to the curb, Demi seems intent on keeping her twittering marriage intact. But I doubt Ashton will still be around when she’s 50 years old. Fool.
This is why it came as no surprise to me – not just when Ashton never sued, but when other tabloids joined Star last week in reporting on his brazen dalliance with yet another twenty-something. Indeed, as if to punctuate his disrespect for Demi, he was caught creeping with this groupie (pictured above) last month on the eve of their sixth wedding anniversary. (I suppose it speaks volumes about what Demi offers in bed that he couldn’t even wait for his seven-year itch to begin to scratch….)
And, to add insult to her long-suffering disgrace, this groupie is now selling stroke-by-stroke details about their assignations to the tabloids – complete with an unwitting warning to Demi about Ashton not even giving a moment’s thought about wearing a condom.
Alas, as I intimated last year, Demi gives new meaning to the term “doormat”.
Because, even though Ashton has enough self-respect to avoid sending out more plainly dishonest tweets about his fidelity to her, Demi showed that she has absolutely none by going with him on a camping trip last weekend, which was designed by their Kabbalah spiritual advisors as a retreat for marriage counseling.
But one does not have to be a soothsayer to predict how successful this counseling will be when most of the pictures from their outing show Demi pitching their tent, starting their fire, and cooking their food all while Ashton was just sitting on his ass smoking cigarettes and drinking beers….
Clearly she’s not just a fool, but an old one at that – an embarrassing distinction once reserved for us men.
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Married fools…