I’ve watched enough episodes of this show (for blogging purposes) to know that the only “stars” who appear are those whose star has yet to shine or those whose star has long since lost its shine. Billy Dee Williams clearly falls into the latter category.
But what shall it profit a fading star, if he shall gain a little cash, but lose his dignity?
Everyone gets $125,000 for signing up and being on the first two episodes (even the person who gets eliminated first gets that amount as a bit of a consolation prize). Then it’s $10,000 each for the next two episodes, $20,000 for each of the two episodes after that, $30,000 each for the two subsequent episodes, and $50,000 for appearing in the final two episodes of the season. That totals $345,000 for those who make it to the very end.
(Gawker, September 1, 2010)
To be sure, some stars, like Margaret Cho and Nancy Grace (yes, these are the C-list celebrities Billy Dee is now accepting as peers), have made quite a public show of declaring their intent to donate their earnings to charity. But, if he too were so charitably inclined, it would speak volumes that Billy Dee could not find a more dignified way to raise money.
No, I suspect he, like over ninety percent of the stars who appear, is just looking for cold, hard cash to help “clear up [his] own financial affairs.”
Mind you, far be it from me to look down on a Brother for doing what he must to earn his daily bread.
It just saddens me to think that it has come to this for Billy Dee. Recall that, after leading-man roles in such films as Brian Song, Lady Sings the Blues, and Mahogany in the early 1970s, he seemed destined for the kind of Hollywood career George Clooney is now enjoying.
Instead, as his IMDb filmography will attest, he has spent the past 30-plus years doing bit parts in movies and on TV, all of which seemed unworthy of his earlier acclaim as a leading man.
Granted, he played a notable role in the last two Star Wars movies, but the most recent of those was Star Wars Episode VI – Return of the Jedi in 1983. And yes, racism in Hollywood probably had something to do with this, but this is the same Hollywood that has since heralded Eddie Murphy, Denzel Washington, and Will Smith as leading men.
The point is that I dare anyone who knows anything about Billy Dee to cite a single memorable performance he has given on screen since Star Wars; well, except for his controversial stint as leading man throughout the ‘80s in commercials for Colt45 malt liquor.
It works every time!
This is the tagline Billy Dee intoned in his sexiest voice at the end of those malt-liquor commercials. But you’d be forgiven for not remembering (or never knowing) that he made it every bit as famous as John Houseman made “We make money the old-fashioned way – we earn it” for Smith-Barney commercials.
Alas, it’s not working this time, Billy Dee. Frankly, he made himself look not only older than his 77 years but also pathetically dated by relying on props from his Stars Wars days, which are older than most of his competitors, to make his dance routine more entertaining. Even worse, he utterly destroyed what little aura of cool he had left by revealing himself as the only Black man on the planet who can’t dance. Not to mention destroying that other myth about men growing old gracefully….
The kindest and most flattering thing the female judge could think to say was that “You’re the most relaxed dancer I’ve ever seen in my life.” By which she meant that he moved like such a geriatric he appeared to be dancing in slow motion next to his partner. Indeed, based solely on his partner’s moves, in her sexed-up Princess Leia outfit, each of the three judges gave them a very generous score of 5 out of 10. Unsurprisingly, they ended up with the lowest total score of the night.
No doubt Billy Dee is hoping that, in addition to Star Wars nostalgia votes, the profile chronicling his double hip, back, knee, and other surgeries will garner him sympathy votes. But I suspect he’ll be disappointed when the show announces vote tallies next week. Not least because one of his competitors (Paralympic snowboarder Amy Purdy) is a woman who lost both legs but still moved like a lithe gazelle on the dance floor, while he moved like a giant turtle. More to the point, though, if surgeries make it impossible for him to dance, why enter a friggin’ dancing competition?
To fully appreciate how low an episode this is in the life of an erstwhile superstar, consider that Billy Dee appearing on Dancing With the Stars is rather like Clint Eastwood appearing on reality TV. But such was Clint’s pride and self-respect that he left his Kris Jenner-like wife two years ago after she induced him into making three cameo appearances on her version of Keeping Up With the Kardashians called Mrs. Eastwood & Company.
But hey, if it helps Billy Dee pay the bills, what can I say. Except that he’s bound to regret providing fodder for people to make a mockery of his signature career achievement. Because, based on last night’s performance, he’ll be dogged for the rest of his days with the viral tagline (courtesy of today’s London Daily Mail):
May the farce be with you!
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