It is probably as much a wonder that Charlie Sheen has managed to star in the number one sitcom on TV (Two and a Half Men) for the past eight years as it is that Muammar Gaddafi has managed to rule Libya for the past 41 years.
After all, it is well documented that both men are prone to fits of hallucinogenic rants, during which they wax delusional about uncovering and combating all kinds of conspiracies, as well as bouts of anti-social behavior, which often result in bodily harm or death to the subjects of their deranged fixation.
Of course, unlike Gaddafi, Charlie hasn’t killed anybody; although in 1990, while in yet another booze and drug-fuelled stupor, he shot his then-fiancée Kelly Preston (now Mrs. John Travolta) in the arm. And only God knows what he has in mind with all of his delusional talk last week about being a fighter jet that will soon unload ordinances on his enemies, real and imagined. But I’m getting ahead of this story….
The point is that he already has blood on his hands as a serial abuser of women, including his most-recent wife, Brooke Mueller, who he was arrested for choking and threatening with a knife in December 2009.
Yet, like Gaddafi, Charlie seemed coated with Teflon that always made him immune to the truth and consequences of his high crimes, misdemeanors, and bad-boy antics.
For example, after being charged for assaulting his wife, his high-priced lawyers got him off with domestic violence counseling and just 30 days in rehab, which clearly did him no good. (She immediately filed for divorce but, strangely enough, now acts like a madam for all of the professional women who cater to his debauched lifestyle.)
This is why I could not resist inferring a coincidence between Gaddafi’s Teflon shield leaving him naked and vulnerable at the same time last week when Charlie’s was leaving him: in Gaddafi’s case, a popular uprising stuck and now threatens to topple him; in Charlie’s, the producers of his show gave him a pink slip informing him that they’d rather suffer monumental financial losses than to continue putting up with his aberrant and narcissistic escapades.
I refer you to related commentaries for more on Gaddafi. As for Sheen, he had taken to calling in to radio stations – in the midst of what seemed like cocaine binges – to rant and rave about not getting enough respect and appreciation from the producers and, ironically, about becoming clean and sober after one week of self-administered rehab at his mansion in Los Angeles.
But what finally pierced his Teflon must have been his anti-Semitic tirade against producer (and show creator) Chuck Lorre for insisting that he take more time off to sober up.
Here is just a sample of what Charlie said:
There’s something this side of deplorable that a certain Chaim Levine – yeah, that’s Chuck’s real name – mistook this rock star for his own selfish exit strategy, bro. Check it, Alex: I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his unevolved mind cannot process.
Last I checked, Chaim, I spent close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write.
(National Enquirer, February 25, 2011)
Then, when challenged about the anti-Semitic nature of this outburst, here is the glib reply Sheen proffered (FYI – Chuck’s birth name is Charles Levine … and his Hebrew name is Chaim):
I was referring to Chuck by his real name, because I wanted to address the man, not the bullshit TV persona. So you’re telling me, anytime someone calls me Carlos Estevez, I can claim they are anti-Latino?
(TMZ, February 25, 2011)
Not surprisingly, the hypocrisy inherent in his reply seemed completely lost on Charlie. After all, Chaim Levine changed his name to Chuck Lorre for the same reason Carlos Estevez changed his to Charlie Sheen: to escape ethnic prejudice and stereotypes. Indeed, if Charlie continues speaking and acting out in this manner he will soon find that he is about as welcome in Hollywood as his Mexican brothers are in Arizona.
But backlash from the so-called Jewish mafia that controls Hollywood should be the least of his worries. For here is a sample of the delusions of grandeur and invincibility that have him on a downward spiral that can only end the way it did for other drug-addled celebrities like Jim Belushi and Anna Nicole Smith:
Newsflash, I’m special … The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning. My success rate is 100% … I was shackled and oppressed by the cult of AA for 22 years. I finally extracted myself from their troll hole and started living my life the way I want to live it. It’s vintage, outdated and stupid and it’s followed by stupid people. I hate them violently. They will come at me. Debate me on AA right now. I have a disease? Bullshit. I cured it right now with my mind. I was told if I went on the attack they’d cancel the show. Are they happy with the 5 billion dollars they made off me or do they want 10?
(X17, February 24, 2011)
And to twist the dagger in his anti-Semitic rant against the show’s Jewish producers, a February 25 report by the Los Angeles Times on his meltdown quotes Sheen dismissing them as “a couple of AA Nazis.”
Anyway, like Gaddafi, he seems oblivious to the fact that the more he attempts to defend his outrageous behavior the more manic and delusional he comes across. Like all human train wrecks, however, he is perversely entertaining, which is why radio and TV stations are falling all over themselves to air every word he utters:
They’re in absolute breach. They picked on the wrong guy . . . I’m not normal . . . and they’ve never gotten their mind around that. Can you imagine going back . . . with those nutbags? It would go bad quickly . . . We’re pretty much done…
We’re having a ball . . . Everybody’s mad because I’m having too much fun and I’m clean.
(New York Post, February 26, 2011)
(Sorry Charlie, but paying whores tens of thousands of dollars to have a … ball is nothing to brag about. And you’re about as clean as the white stuff you keep snorting up your nose. On the other hand, if you go through with your threat to write a tell-all book, please be sober long enough to appreciate that your fans will be far more interested in your skin action with your live-in porn stars than in your rants about producers who have gotten under your skin.)
As for this hit show, it would take the swallowing of pride the likes of which would give even Shylock indigestion for it to continue – with him as its star – after Charlie referred to it in the above-referenced Los Angeles Times report as:
…a bad-joke-filled pukefest that everyone worships.
Yeah, I’d say that’s a wrap.
In any event, the train wreck that Charlie is making of his life would just be pathetic if it were not so patently tragic. I pray that his loved ones are able to organize an intervention, even if by force, to get him into a proper rehab facility before it’s too late. Because at this rate, I fear he has only months to live.
God help him….