I began commenting on the soap opera that is the private life of French President Francois Hollande seven years ago only because of the mockery French media were making of their vaunted reputation for discretion in affairs of the heart. But truth be told, I now see no greater redeeming social value in continuing to comment on his private life than I see in commenting on that of Dennis Rodman.
Therefore, this is my final episode. I’m beginning it by reprising Alas, the First Lady of France Is No Lady at All, July 11, 2013, because it serves as a good roundup of all previous commentaries on this improbable lothario:
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With their latest feeding frenzy over President Hollande’s love life, French media have utterly destroyed their enviable reputation for discretion in affairs of the heart.
Here’s how I presaged this unseemly twist in their national character six years ago:
So much for the reputed quizzical insouciance of the French when it comes to marital (or, more notably, extramarital) affairs. Because today every French newspaper is emblazoned with headlines about the intriguing split between Segolene Royal, the Socialist candidate I endorsed in last month’s French presidential election, and Francois Hollande, the leader of the Socialist Party.
(“Segolene Royal and Francois Hollande Divorce French Style,” The iPINIONS Journal, June 19, 2007)
However, where the French were titillated by prurient details about Hollande’s split, they are reacting to tabloid fodder about his ongoing love life like rabbits in heat.
Here, in part, is how I commented on this spectacle last year:
As if to highlight the dramatis personae that will provide palace intrigue throughout his presidency, he announced … that he has no intent to marry his partner Valerie Trierweiler (r) — deriding marriage, in true socialist fashion, as a ‘bourgeois institution.’
No doubt this will help Royal get over the understandable resentment and jealousy that must have stirred in her as she watched the younger woman Hollande dumped her for standing by his side when he became president.
But Trierweiler must be wondering now about the security of her position in this ongoing ménage a trois. After all, not only could Hollande’s nomination make Royal the most powerful woman in France, Trierweiler is surely mindful that she (i.e., Royal) is also the only mother of his four children.
So who’s resentful and jealous now? Karma’s a bitch: woof.
(“New French President Nominates ‘First Partner’ as Speaker,” The iPINIONS Journal, May 18, 2012)
Unsurprisingly, a number of French readers took umbrage at my casting their purportedly sophisticated attitude towards intimate relationships as a provincial American-style soap opera. Except that Trierweiler soon vindicated my cynical take:
Based on the latest episode of As the Elysée Turns, it may be that I presumed too much about the discretion of the characters involved in this political ménage à trois. For French media were replete with reports last week about the ‘blind jealousy’ that compelled Trierweiler to take to Twitter – just days before Sunday’s elections – to declare her support not for Royal (Hollande’s declared nominee for president of the National Assembly) but for her (i.e., their) opponent.
Just imagine the national spectacle/embarrassment if President Obama endorsed a candidate for House Speaker, and Michelle then took to Twitter to endorse that candidate’s opponent.
(“Ménage à Trois Involving French President Heats Up,” The iPINIONS Journal, June 19, 2012)
This compelled me to suggest that Trierweiler is a woman who cannot be trusted. I even opined that Hollande was wise not to marry her, and would be wiser still to get rid of her tout de suite. He did not; then came this:
They say a week is a long time in politics, and in French politics it needs to be. France’s First Lady, Valérie Trierweiler, certainly had a lot to pack in during her working week, sleeping, as is alleged in a new book, with both François Hollande, the socialist president, and Patrick Devedjian, a Right-wing politician. Oh, and she was also married to her fellow Paris Match journalist Denis Trierweiler at the time.
(The Irish Independent, October 16, 2012)
Which prompted me to comment as follows:
I always thought the notorious dalliances of French novelist and performer Colette was an anomaly among French women. But this documented scheming of First Lady Valérie will do much to disabuse me of that thought.
If President Hollande did not have cause to dump this cunning and spiteful courtesan before, surely these revelations should compel him to do so now – if only to avoid becoming a national laughing stock, non?
(“The Three Lovers of France’s First Lady Valérie Trierweiler,” The iPINIONS Journal, October 18, 2012)
Of course, by this point you’d think my French critics would’ve been duly chastened. Instead, they not only found the report about Trierweiler’s three lovers incroyable; they dismissed my take on it as patently absurd.
Here, in part, was my take:
Given the ménage à trois referenced above, one can be forgiven for thinking, as I did, that the philandering for which the French are famous stems from the quizzical insouciance French men have towards marital/sexual fidelity.
So imagine my shock when I read reports this week that the philandering of no less a person than the new first lady of France proves that, as in most things, women are better at this too (or worse depending on your level of puritanism)
(“The Three Lovers of France’s First Lady Valérie Trierweiler,” The iPINIONS Journal, October 18, 2012)
Interestingly enough, it seemed lost on these critics that, by expressing moral indignation and defending Trierweiler’s honor, they were in fact destroying their enviable reputation for discretion (and sophistication) in matters of intimate relationships. After all, one would’ve thought the French would have greeted revelations about her three lovers as quintessentially, well, French.
To be fair, their antic disposition was probably influenced by the public show their first lady made of suing for defamation the reporters who outed her as a woman of ill-repute. But then came this:
French first lady Valérie Trierweiler was today forced to pay legal costs to a writer who accused her of being the ‘shared’ mistress of two married politicians.
It follows Ms. Trierweiler withdrawing her claim of defamation against Christophe Jakubyszyn, who exposed the 48-year-old’s extraordinarily colourful love life.
(Daily Mail, July 9, 2013)
I hope one does not have to be a lawyer to appreciate that the only reason for withdrawing a claim of defamation is fear of being hoisted on one’s own petard with the truth as an absolute defense.
This compels me to reiterate that, instead of first lady, Trierweiler might more accurately be called first courtesan of France. And the French appear to be thinking of doing just that:
She is herself facing a legal action over claims that the taxpayer should not be supporting her lifestyle as the ‘president’s mistress.’
Xavier Kemlin, a supermarket chain heir, launched the complaint earlier this year, saying: ‘It is scandalous that our taxes are being used to house, feed, upkeep and pay for the staff and travel of a lady to whom we have no legal obligation.’
(Daily Mail, July 9, 2013)
Quel scandale!
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With that roundup, here’s the latest:
It appears Hollande decided to replace Trierweiler as his first lady soon after I admonished him to do so:
The French president’s complex personal life — and what it means to be the first lady in modern society — may get a full airing on Tuesday as Francois Hollande answers questions for the first time since a tabloid reported he was having an affair with an actress.
Hollande’s partner, journalist Valerie Trierweiler, has been hospitalized since Friday, when the tabloid Closer published photos it said proved Hollande’s liaison with Julie Gayet. The pictures included one of a man it said was Hollande being ferried by motorcycle to an apartment where Gayet waited.
(The Associated Press, June 14, 2014)
When I admonished him, however, I never imagined Hollande would be so cowardly and reckless as to leave Trierweiler perched up in Elysée Palace while he sneaked out for booty calls with his new first lady.
With his assignations becoming tabloid fodder, however, it was hardly surprising that over 600 reporters from around the world attended his annual state of the republic press conference on Tuesday. No doubt they were salivating at the prospect of Hollande pouring out a broken and contrite heart over his love triangle just as New Jersey Governor Chris Christie did at his press conference last week over his bridge scandal.
But Hollande had the good sense to be indignant. He deflected the first question by insisting that he will not defile the august state occasion by answering impudent questions about his personal life. Then, recognizing that would do little to quell their prurient lust, he promised that he will issue a clarifying decree on who is the first lady of France well before his scheduled state visit to the United States in February. And that was that!
Meanwhile, Trierweiler remains in hospital, playing the woman wronged without any hint of irony. She took refuge there upon learning about the affair a week ago today when Closer, the infamous magazine that published nude pictures of Princess Kate Middleton, published a seven-page exposé.
Trierweiler is probably hoping that her reported nervous breakdown will win public sympathy and curry his favor. Not least because, far more than having Hollande reaffirm her as first lady, I suspect she really covets the attention and prestige that will attend a state visit to the United States – complete with 21-gun salute and gala dinner hosted my President Obama and her putative counterpart, First Lady Michelle.
Nonetheless, I expect Hollande to deny her this crowning achievement of her courtesan reign. Mind you, not that he’ll be gauche enough to show up with Gayet. I just think he’s sensible enough to appreciate that the only thing to do in the circumstances is to show up tout seul.
As she demonstrated when she sabotaged Hollande’s nomination of Royal for president of the National Assembly, however, Trierweiler is not one to suffer even perceived slights without scotched-earth retaliation.
Therefore, when he finally kicks her out of the Elysée to make way for First Lady Julie, Hollande should be prepared for this woman scorned to leave like a bat out of Hell. I know French media will be lying in wait to gobble up and peddle all of the salacious tidbits she’s bound to provide.
There is a female hellfire, and if our myth-making of events fails to take in a cuckquean’s sexual imperative, we’re all in for a little taste of it.
(“What Do You Call a Female Cuckhold,” Salon, September 5, 2007)
Most Frenchmen are clearly enjoying every turn in this soap opera, but here’s how one Frenchwoman summed up the Gaullist reaction on Wednesday’s edition of CBS This Morning:
The French elite are totally humiliated. They feel like they are living in Italy.
Alas, it does not bode well for Hollande that his first lady in waiting is emulating Trierweiler’s lack of discretion and good judgment by suing Closer.
Julie Gayet, the actress linked to President François Hollande, is suing French magazine Closer after it reported they were having an affair.
The actress is seeking 50,000 euros (£41,000) in damages and 4,000 euros in legal costs for breach of privacy, Closer magazine told news agency AFP today.
(The Independent, January 16, 2014)
After all, you’d think she would at least be grateful that Closer is forcing him to choose between them. More to the point, she must know that a lawsuit will only provide more (vindicating) fodder for the tabloid(s) and, as Trierweiler found to her regret, saddle her too with legal costs.
Which brings me to my pithy epilogue:
It never ceases to amaze me how shocked and hurt a woman who steals another woman’s man becomes when another woman steals that man from her. (Got that?) I suppose it’s a reflection of the self-indulgence that made her think it was okay to steal another woman’s man that she invariably fancies herself immune to the truism that what goes around comes around; or, as I duly warned Trierweiler above, that karma’s a bitch.
The End
Related commentaries:
Segolene and Francois…
Ménage a Trois…