But first, in the interest of full disclosure, I’m obliged to share this from my commentary on the 2014 show:
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I’m never going to waste my time watching the Oscars ever again. Because it amounts to Chinese water torture for the producers to make us sit through nearly four hours of boring TV just to hurl four of the six most-suspenseful awards at us in the last four minutes of the show. The six, of course, are for best supporting actor and actress, best actor and actress, best director and best picture.
No offense to screenwriters, cinematographers, makeup artists, et al, but it would be far more entertaining if they presented one of these six awards every 15 minutes and limited the entire show to two hours.
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In truth, I find it suffices to read reviews (complete with video highlights) the morning after. And I hope you’ll forgive me for sharing that every review since 2014 has vindicated my decision to tune out.
To be fair, this year’s show was not as long as usual. Unfortunately, it was twice as boring. This stemmed in large part from winners in less popular categories (like costume design, production design, makeup and hairstyling) acting like dumbstruck potheads during their acceptance speeches.
Ironically, the Academy intended to save time (and avoid this boredom) by presenting awards in many of these categories during commercial breaks. But, as I referenced in my original commentary above, Hollywood A-listers demanded equal airtime for their crew and support staff. And good for them, but the result was what it was.
No doubt the Academy’s spectacular failure to land an A-list host did little to stem waning interest in this backslapping Hollywood gala. Thus, for the second-consecutive year, ancillary events created far more suspense than anything the actual show could deliver.
(The event that sucked up much of the suspense last year involved speculation about which A-list actresses would grant accused #MeToo predator Ryan Seacrest a red-carpet interview. None of them did.)
By the way, you’d think having no (middleman) host and getting right to the presentation of awards would have saved lots of time. Yet so many presenters acted as if they were hosting, the show still ended up being far too long.
Tina Fey actually presaged (and was guilty of) this when she, Amy Poehler, and Maya Rudolph appeared to present the first award of the night:
‘Good evening and welcome to the one-millionth Academy Awards,’ Fey said. ‘We are not your hosts, but we’ll stand here a little too long so the people who get USA Today tomorrow will think that we hosted.’
(USA Today, February 24, 2019)
Meanwhile, many are marveling at the way Lady Gaga broke the boredom, in hair-raising fashion, when she and Bradley Cooper sang their Oscar-winning song “Shallow” from A Star Is Born. But what I wrote about (the old) Lady Gaga explains this marvel:
Lady Gaga literally personifies the triumph of packaged and formulaic acts over talented performances. Which is rather a shame because this girl can sing.
(“MTV Video Music Awards,” The iPINIONS Journal, August 30, 2011)
On a more sour note, social media are all atwitter about the chemistry that oozed between Cooper and Gaga. That’s called acting, people.
Indeed, I’m old enough to remember Cooper stirring similar juices when he starred with Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook (2012) and with Amy Adams in American Hustle (2013). Kudos to him; the guy is just that good!
But I gather some of you think it’s cute to insinuate that he and Gaga are having an off-screen affair. It’s particularly disheartening that their fellow actors, who should know better, are triggering viral memes in this respect.
Because this shows disrespect not just for these consummate actors, but also for Cooper’s girlfriend Irina Shayk – who also happens to be the mother of his young child. Not to mention the inconvenient fact that Shayk could be seen sitting very proudly between Cooper and Gaga all night. So zip it!
And the Oscar goes to:
- Best Supporting Actor
My pick was Mahershala Ali in Green Book. The winner was Mahershala Ali.
- Best Supporting Actress
My pick was Rachel Weisz in The Favourite. The winner was Regina King in If Beale Street Could Talk.
Incidentally, pictures from the telecast feature so many black faces, I got the impression I was reading about the NAACP Image Awards. I suppose this shows how determined producers were to whitewash #OscarSoWhite from Academy history.
- Best Actress
My pick was Olivia Colman in The Favourite. The winner was Olivia Colman.
- Best Actor
My pick was Rami Malek in Bohemian Rhapsody. The winner was Rami Malek.
- Best Director
My pick was Alfonso Cuarón for Roma. The winner was Alfonso Cuarón.
- Best Picture
My pick was Black Panther. The winner was Green Book.
This actually aggravates the pet peeve I cited in “My Picks” about directors like Cuarón winning this category only to see their films lose Best Picture.
But, apropos of aggravation, that’s how I felt when I read about Spike Lee making a spectacle of himself. He reportedly threw a hissy fit after presenter Julia Roberts announced the winner in this category.
Mind you, I get the racial indignation he must have felt. After all, even I threw shade at Green Book’s white-savior theme.
More to the point, this was the second time one of Spike’s cutting-edge black movies lost to, what he clearly considers, an Uncle Tom-style movie. It was his BlacKkKlansman losing to Green Book this year; his Do the Right Thing losing to Driving Miss Daisy in 1990.
And, that he had just won the first Oscar of his career for Best Adapted Screenplay evidently provided no consolation. One might also wonder how Spike would have reacted if my pick, Black Panther, had won.
Whatever the case, his loss does not excuse the personal immaturity and professional disrespect he displayed.
Related commentaries:
And the Oscar goes – 2014…
My picks…