Prince Albert’s Getting Married! No More Babies Out of Wedlock…?

[Author’s Note:  This article was originally published almost four years ago (on August 4, 2006).  Back then I was commenting on reports that Prince Albert had proposed to South African beauty Charlene Wittstock. Well, even though accurate, those reports turned out to be wildly premature.  Because Albert announced only last week that he had finally proposed and intends to marry Wittstock next summer. It is in this context that I reprise this commentary.]

Regular readers of this weblog know that I’ve been unsparing in my criticism of Prince Albert II of Monaco, 48, not only living a notoriously promiscuous lifestyle but also for fathering children (2 that we know of) out of wedlock.

But he incited my most indignant ire when he renounced the birthright of his black son in favor of vesting it in his white nephew. I argued in a previous commentary that, since he did this after sober deliberation, and not in a drunken stupor, it betrayed an untenable and unforgivable strain of racism.

Furthermore, that this racist act made him unworthy of membership on the International Olympic Committee (IOC), or of serving as patron of the World Music Awards, at which, ironically, mostly black celebrities praise him for his humanitarian work.

Nevertheless, the good news is that it seems this international bounder has finally decided to make an honest woman out of one of his concubines. For reports are that he has chosen former South African Olympic swimmer (medley-relay team, which finished 5th) and Sports Illustrated model, Charlene Wittstock, 28, to be his princess.

I wish them well; never mind that Wittstock’s uncanny resemblance to Albert’s late mother Princess Grace only adds credence to longstanding rumors about his acute Oedipus complex….

NOTE: I appreciate that no matter how promiscuous and racist his character, many women would have been all too willing to sell their body and soul to be Albert’s bride. But as a consolation for having missed out on this royal opportunity, I offer all of you this unsightly glimpse into what a pyrrhic bargain your wedding night would have been: