Rapper Lil' Kim: Convicted of Perjury!

Lil’ Kim’s high-priced lawyer, looking stupified, tries to console her: I’m so sorry Miss Little Kim, I really thought I had that jury eating outta the palm of my hand. But, as soon as you make that additional deposit, I’ll get to work on your appeal…

The raunchy rap diva Lil’ Kim has finally achieved street cred that her nemesis Foxxy Brown can only dream about: she’s a convicted felon!

Lil’ Kim, better known as the petite Ho of the late Notorious B.I.G, was convicted of perjury yesterday for lying to a federal grand jury to protect her posse who were involved in a shootout at Hot 97 in New York City. This radio station is fast becoming the drive-by playground for stupid rich rappers. And, it’s where 50 cent and the Game orchestrated their gun play only a few weeks ago.

Now the foul-mouth almost nothing-wearing Lil’ Kim faces 20 years in prison and will be sentenced this summer.

Maybe, like Martha Stewart, she’ll have time now to work on her manners. In addition, however, Lil’ Kim might welcome the down time to detox her body of botox and silicone poisoning and even lose some weight.

Unfortunately, I don’t think prison will prove as profitable for Lil’ Kim as it was for domestic diva Martha.

Bye bye Lil’ Kim…