Wilkommen Angela: Good luck trying to discipline the spoiled German people who have no concept of national sacrifice after years of political indulgence under Grandpa Gerhardt.
So much for the infamous German “ordnung must seien” (order!). Because the political chaos following yesterday’s national elections makes the “banana republic” craziness following the 2000 presidential elections in America (when Al Gore refused to concede defeat to George Bush) seem relatively sublime.
Results indicate that neither incumbent Gerhardt Schröder’s Social Democrats (at 34.3%) nor top challenger Angela Merkel’s Christian Democrats (at 35.2%) won enough seats to form a new government. Worse still, neither of these fiercely antagonistic Party leaders seems able to form a coalition government (with fringe contenders like the Free Democrats at 9.8%, the Left Party at 8.7% and the Green Party at 8.1%) without the other’s Party playing a decisive role.
Therefore, German political pundits are calling for a “grand coalition” between Schröder and Merkel to forestall any further shock to the country’s (erstwhile) predictable order of things. The problem with such a political marriage, however, is determining what to do when both partners want pre-nuptial agreements guaranteeing that he or she will always be on top.
No doubt the political wheeling and dealing going on today in the German Bundestag (national parliament) rivals the haggling, buying and selling one might find on a busy day at an Indian Bazaar. Though, at the end of the day, I suspect that Merkel will hatch a governing coalition with the Social Democrats – after an internal purge puts Schröder out to pasture in favour of a new Party leader. (Click here for analysis of other possible outcomes.)
Auf wiedersehen Gerhardt: It’s bad enough that you enabled the spoiled expectations of the German people but, please, have the decency not to become a spoil-sport yourself. So leave the political stage – now – with what little remains of your grandfatherly appeal…
Nevertheless, Angela Merkel is on the cusp of making history as the first female Chancellor of Germany. And, having been mentored by the larger than life former Chancellor Helmut Kohl (1982-1998), she is more qualified than Margaret Thatcher was (and Hillary Clinton is) to assume leadership of her country. Clearly, these facts alone make her worthy of far more international media attention; notwithstanding competition from Katrina and Britney (Ooops, she did it again; and this time she had a baby).
Unfortunately, Merkel does not have the celebrity status of Hillary Clinton or the intriguing force of personality that made “Iron Lady” Margaret Thatcher such a fascinating political character. In fact, Merkel’s personality seems more suited for a job as a school-crossing guard than one as Chancellor of Germany – especially now when dynamic and decisive leadership is so critical. After all, given Germany’s current standing in Europe (and internationally), one might think that the thriving capitalist West was sucked into the vortex of the dour communist East (from whence, to complete the stereotype, Merkel hails) when the country was re-unified in 1990 – as opposed to the other way around.
But check-out the graphics below to see what daunting challenges await Merkel and why so many anxious Germans spell malaise: G-E-R-M-A-N-Y! (Yet, it is worth noting that few of them would even countenance giving up any of their cradle-to-grave welfare entitlements for the sake of bringing fiscal sanity to Germany’s national budget. Entitlements, incidentally, which make the American welfare system seem like government sanctioned medieval torture.)
Note: Since there’s no love lost between Schröder and U.S. President Bush, many pundits speculate that Merkel might seek closer ties with Bush to distinguish herself from Schröder on the international scene. (Indeed, Schröder seemed convinced that his best campaign riff was ridiculing Merkel for visiting Bush to boost her foreign policy bona fides, in the same boneheaded fashion that John Kerry visited French President Jacque Chirac during last year’s presidential election in America.)
But Merkel would be well-advised to forge a special relationship with British PM Tony Blair (and there’s no love lost between him and Schröder either) much as Margaret Thatcher did with U.S. President Ronald Reagan. After all, Blair is easily the most popular and influential leader in the world (due in large part to his close ties with President Bush). And nurturing ties with him is unlikely to incite the visceral condemnation she would surely suffer (at home and throughout Europe) from any appearance of pursuing common cause with Bush.
Disclosure: Lest I be accused of showing off, let me hasten to admit that my fluency in German is limited to the few words I learned from Colonel Klink on re-runs of Hogan’s Heroes. Beyond those, “I write nothing, I speak nothing, I understand nothing!”
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