Cohen free to unleash on Trump

Michael Cohen walked into his apartment building on the Upper East Side Friday evening to begin his home confinement term, ending a weeks-long fiasco that saw him arrested and returned to federal prison for refusing terms of his confinement. …

[Judge Alvin Hellerstein] on Thursday ordered Cohen’s release from Otisville prison, ruling that he was brought into custody by federal authorities on July 9 as ‘retaliation’ for tell-all book that he was planning to write about President Trump. … Hellerstein added that he had never seen a clause in a home confinement agreement that prohibits a defendant from publishing a book in his more than 20 years as a judge.

(New York Post, July 24, 2020)

The problem is that Americans have already binged on too many Trump tell-alls. I refer you to those by the likes of Omarosa Manigault Newman, Michael Wolff, Chris Christie, Mary Trump, and John Bolton – just to name the obvious ones. 

Therefore, you’d be forgiven for thinking that Michael Cohen couldn’t possibly have anything to tell that hasn’t already been told.

More to the point, each book essentially tells us what we knew or should have known, namely that:

Trump is nuts.

And yet, an unholy coalition of evangelicals and hillbillies elected him president of the United States. 

But let’s be honest, reading Trump tell-alls is like eating Lay’s potato chips. You know,

You can’t have just one.

So hurry up, Michael!

Whose is the bestseller of them all?

For the record, after just one week, Mary Trump is in pole position with 1.35 million sales of her tell-all Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man. 

Over 33 years, Trump only sold 1.1 million copies of Trump: The Art of the Deal, which touts his business successes. In other words, in just one week, Mary has out-sold him with her book, which chronicles his business failures. That must be driving her crazy uncle even crazier. 

But I don’t put it past Michael to suddenly recall so many scandalous tidbits about Trump that his tell-all becomes a mash-up of The Godfather by Mario Puzo, Caligula: The Corruption of Power by Anthony A. Barrett, and The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight by Jimmy Breslin.

Forget its first week; such a book would surely sell millions on its first day, no?