I used to admire J.K. Rowling – a lot. Not because I’m a man-child who found her Potter novels spellbinding, mind you. I merely browsed the first one and scrolled through the Harry Potter glossary. No, I admired her because she helped untold millions of kids discover the love of reading.
But my admiration waned when she began exploiting that love like a drug dealer exploiting a junkie’s addiction. This explains so many kids presenting the effects of a “dementor’s kiss,” which causes them to crave Potter more – no matter how plainly exploitative.
Here in part is how I expressed my dismay in “More Harry Potter…? Say It Ain’t So, Jo,” July 11, 2014:
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My admiration also stemmed from her steadfast pledge that there would be ‘no more Harry Potter,’ despite all things Potter being a veritable license to print money. Indeed, she practically conceded that the only reason she would have to write more Potter novels after the seventh (and purportedly final) one is the same reason Sylvester Stallone made more Rocky films after the third (and what should’ve been the final) one: money. …
But she betrayed the spirit, even if not the letter, of her no-more-Harry-Potter pledge when she launched her website Pottermore in 2011. After all, Rowling selling Harry Potter stuff to provide fans a more interactive experience is rather like a drug dealer selling hallucinogenic drugs to provide addicts a more psychedelic experience. You’d think the billion-plus dollars she’d already raked in from books, movies, and merchandise would’ve made this kind of money-grubbing enterprise too shameful to even contemplate.
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Except that she began merchandising Harry Potter the way Disney merchandises Mickey Mouse.
But the play’s the thing wherein she hid her money-grubbing motive. Because she peddled another Harry Potter book as an original play by another author – based on her story. They called it Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. No sh*t!
Harry Potter And The Cursed Child is the highest-grossing Broadway play ever. …
Twenty-one years after his debut on the world stage in The Philosopher’s Stone, Harry Potter is nailing his Broadway bow.
(Forbes, April 9, 2018)
But reaping unprecedented profits from runs in New York (and London) wasn’t enough. Because this one-trick pony can’t help herself. This is why, in addition to publishing that play as another Harry Potter book, Rowling is producing it as another Harry Potter movie. The latter is scheduled for release next year – complete with original cast.
And all that despite this:
In an interview to promote the launch of the latest Potter film, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, [star Daniel] Radcliffe told MTV news that he’d received a text from Rowling promising him that she would write no more Potter stories, after he expressed dismay at the idea of yet more Potter films in an earlier interview. …
He told the TV station’s reporter: ‘I’m sure she will be writing other books, but I can pretty much guarantee Harry will not be a feature.’
(The Guardian, November 17, 2010)
Oh, did I mention the Harry Potter theme parks? Reports are that the one at Universal in Orlando features a Hagrid roller coaster that makes Disney’s Space Mountain feel like a ride on the Chattanooga Choo Choo.
Yet, as if this billionaire were not already milking (or bilking) Harry Potter too much, now comes her most frontal betrayal:
J.K. Rowling is to release four brand new stories associated with the wizarding world of Harry Potter over 20 years after the first novel was published.
The series of short e-books, set to explore the ‘traditional folklore and magic at the heart of the series’, will be released by Pottermore Publishing.
They’re designed to focus on specific Hogwarts lessons, including Divination, Herbology and Defence Against the Dark Arts.
(The Independent, May 30, 2019)
Whatever!
As quoted above, Rowling cast Sylvester Stallone as the portrait of an artist as a one-trick pony, making clear she was loath to become one too. Well, she has.
What’s more, it turns out that, far from dissing Stallone, she was flattering herself. Because at least he can point to Rambo to paint himself as a two-trick pony. As it happens, the trailer for his latest (and last…?), Rambo V: Last Blood, dropped a few weeks ago. It hits theaters on September 20, 2019.
If only I could send Rowling a “howler.”
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