I am not a father; therefore, I cannot relate to the frustration men must feel lying flaccidly by while their pregnant wives (or girlfriends) suffer morning sickness.
But I can certainly appreciate how aroused they will become when they hear about scientific research which shows that they can help cure that morning sickness … naturally.
Here is how the New York Daily News reported on the exciting findings:
One academic is proposing a cure for morning sickness that some moms-to-be might find in bad taste — sperm.
Gordon Gallup, a psychologist at SUNY-Albany has a theory that pregnant women who are continually exposed to the father’s semen are less like to suffer from AM nausea.
Gallup, who specializes in human reproductive competition and behavior, offers the theory that expectant women become ill and vomit because their bodies are rejecting the semen’s genetic material as something foreign and unfamiliar.
(August 10, 2012)
No doubt this will make men go, oooh, yeah! And it will certainly make some women go, ewww, yuck! But I suspect it will make most women go, yuck! Nonetheless, I’m sure some pregnant women will be happy to see if they can finally get more out of this obliging act than lock jaw. In fact, Gallup also found that:
Semen contains anti-depressants and mood-altering chemicals which increase affection and induce sleep.
Whatever the case, I offer the following prescription for any woman who has a hard time swallowing the notion that engaging in a gag-inducing sex act can prevent the gagging associated with morning sickness:
Tell that sucker who’s begging you to give him a blowjob to make you feel better that, if he really wants to help, he should take his limp dick to the bathroom – plastic cup and magazine in hand – and do what men do when they donate to sperm banks.
This way you can test the medicinal effect of his sperm without having to do, while suffering morning sickness, what you only ever feel like doing after you’ve had a good meal and several glasses of wine.