Shaq raps like a man scorned as he disses Kobe – his former Lakers teammate

What I found most interesting about this year’s NBA finals is the prospect of Kobe finally leading the Lakers to a championship without the purportedly indispensable assistance of Shaquille O’Neal.

Recall that the Lakers traded Shaq to the Miami Heat in 2004 to indulge Kobe’s petulant and narcissistic personality. And since then all NBA fans have wondered which of these two franchise players would be the first to lead his team to a championship without the other.

Therefore, Kobe must have resented watching Shaq lead the Heat to an NBA championship in 2006.

[Celtics rout Lakers to win 2008 NBA Championship, The iPINIONS Journal, June 18, 2008]

Shaq confirmed my psychological analysis of his professional relationship with Kobe by performing a rap song in which he skewers Kobe as follows:

Last week Kobe couldn’t do it without me…
Kobe tell me how my ass taste
I’m a horse, Kobe ratted me out, that’s why I getting a divorce
Kobe, can’t do it without me…

Anecdotal evidence suggests that Shaq’s diss was a hit amongst the hip-hop crowd and some basketball fans. Unfortunately, his boss at the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Department, where Shaq moonlights as a deputy, was not amused:

I want his two badges back. Because if any one of my deputies did something like this, they’re fired. I don’t condone this type of racial conduct.

[Self-described “America’s Toughest Sheriff” – Joe Arpaio]

In his defense, Shaq pleaded, rather unconvincingly, that he “was freestyling. That’s all. It was all done in fun.” Nevertheless, I have no doubt that a sheriff from a neighboring county would be happy to pin four deputy badges on Shaq just for the favorable press it would generate….

Let me hasten to note, however, that the shame here is not the embarrassment Shaq caused the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Department. Instead, it’s the embarrassment he caused himself by gloating over Kobe’s professional misery in such a public and juvenile fashion. Not to mention the spectacle he made of his ongoing divorce proceedings….

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