I’ve been a devout viewer of 60 Minutes for as long as I can remember. And the highlight was often the segment entitled “A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney” at the end of each episode.
Mind you, it wasn’t just his homespun delivery, which often made it seem like he was playing a Saturday Night Live spoof of himself. (In fact comedian Joe Piscopo performed such an endearing parody that his signature line “Did you ever notice” has been attributed to Rooney even though he never once uttered it in any of his essays on 60 Minutes.)
Rather, what made him such “an American original” was the way he exposed the annoyances, absurdities, pretensions and petty challenges of everyday life – often holding those responsible for imposing them upon us up to national ridicule.
I call these challenges “pet peeves“, and it never ceased to amaze me how much we had in common in this respect. For example, nothing irritates me more than trying to open a common household product that is wrapped in plastic that seems designed only to be opened by a pair of industrial-grade scissors. Therefore, I was delighted when Andy addressed this not only with inimitable exasperation, but as a veritable public service announcement.
But, as a big coffee drinker, one of my favorite segments was when he exposed the utterly deceptive practice of coffee makers putting only 13 ounces of coffee into the regular 16-ounce container, but charging the same price, if not more.
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
(Andy Rooney, 60 Minutes, October 23, 1988)
But lest you think he was more Erma Bombeck than Walter Cronkite, let me hasten to add that Rooney was never more engaging than when he spoke out against the war in Iraq. He was right about this too. What’s more, none of his familiar right-wing critics could accuse him of being a left-wing peacenik because his tours of duty as a war correspondent during World War II imbued his moral outrage with unassailable authority.
Rooney is arguably the most beloved and admired grumpy old man in television history. Indeed, what made his segments so compelling was the way he made no apologies for his irreverent persona as an incorrigible curmudgeon:
One of my major shortcomings – I’m vindictive. I don’t know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It’s a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened. There’s no question I have a negative streak, which has served me well.
(Interview with the Associated Press 1998)
Indeed it has. Of course, he’d be the first to point out that he’s just ending his 33-year gig on 60 Minutes, not going to his grave. Therefore, here’s to a happy retirement Andy. At 92, you deserve it.
Having said that, such was his obvious love of what he did that one got the sense that he was delivering his own eulogy last night:
This is a moment I have dreaded. I wish I could do this forever. I can’t though.
(Rooney, 60 Minutes, October 2, 2011)
Farewell, Andy.