52nd Annual Grammy Awards

Beyoncé was hot!

I’m not sure why people are so gaga over Lady Gaga.

Ironically, her costume-heavy act probably never looked so “been there, done that” as when she came out for a somber duet with Elton John. After all, he elevated the spectacle of theatrics over talent to its zenith 25 years ago.

Perhaps, like Elton, she will come to realize someday that her talent alone is enough to make her a superstar – cuz the girl can sing…. Speaking of which, whatever happened to Nora Jones?

But Beyoncé was hot!

Like Jay Leno, Steven Colbert proved that he’s not funny at all in prime time.  His opening bit sucked!  Perhaps one had to be a father to get the cutesy repartee with his daughter – who did the worst job of looking like an embarrassed teenager ever. Hell, she looked and acted more like an eager Hannah Montana understudy.

But Beyoncé was hot!

Having seen Cirque du Soleil, all I can say is that Pink should spare us the acrobatics and work on her singing….

But Beyoncé was hot!

Who knew Jamie Fox could sing Opera…?  His gig featuring Slash and T-Pain was easily the highlight performance of the night. (With all due respect to the belated and overly hyped Grammy debut of Bon Jovi: 3 friggin song?! Puhleeeese!)

But Beyoncé was hot!

Wyclef Jean gave an appropriately jubilant pitch for Haiti.  And I was pleasantly surprised to hear Mary J. Blige hold her own in a duet with Andrea Bocelli, singing a Bridge Over Troubled Water as a “Song for Haiti.”  It’s just too bad that I kept waiting for Blige to stop in the middle of their performance to cuss out her band again the way she did so notoriously the night before at a command performance for Clive Davis.

I really like Taylor Swift. But poor thing: last year she was rudely upstaged by Kanye West, this year she was properly upstaged by Stevie Nicks. (Of course, only an impressionable young thing like Taylor would think it’s a good idea to sing Rhiannon in a duet with Stevie.)  But kudos to Taylor for winning four Grammys, including the most coveted one of the evening, best album of the year!

But Beyoncé was hot!

I should have known when I heard that Celine Dion would be leading the all-star 3D salute to Michael Jackson that it would not be worth waiting for. And it wasn’t; not least because, having heard Michael sing Earth Song,  his homage to Mother Earth, Kerry Underwood, Jennifer Hudson and even Usher sounded like, well, American Idol wannabes trying to mimic him.

Just goes to show what a great singer/performer MJ was….

But does anyone still believe those lily-white kids who accepted hisLifetime Achievement Award are really Michael’s biological children?

Nothing is more pathetic than watching his siblings on TV going on about how they look just like Michael – seemingly unaware that surgically or cosmetically altered features (like his pointed nose, bleached skin, and long wig) cannot be inherited.

Never mind the patent exploitation of traipsing them out like performing MJ mascots. Indeed, given the extremes to which he went to keep them off camera, Michael must be rolling over in his grave.

But Beyoncé was hot!

Curiously enough, it seems Maxwell lost a little of his grove when he chopped off his dreadlocks; but poor Roberta Flack, she has injected so much botox that she could barely mouth the words to her classic, Where is the love.

Having said all that, I’m sure Travis Barker, Lil Wayne, Drake and Eminem were the bomb!  It’s just too bad so much of their performance was bleeped for profanity….But truth be told, Eminem proved again last night why he’s easily the best rapper in the game – and not just for a white boy….

But Beyoncé was hot!

And she won the most Grammys too, six, including best song of the year.  This was the most Grammys ever won by a female in one night.  Way to go Bey!

NOTE: Of course Beyoncé always exudes boundless sexual energy (something “Sasha Fierce”) during her performances. And she was on top of her game tonight.

But here’s a tip for all of you wannabe Beyoncés out there: The reason I found her particularly hot tonight is that I saw for the first time – during an extended interview on a pre-Grammy broadcast of 60 Minutes – how poised, articulate and disarmingly intelligent she is.

We men are often accused of being dick heads. But, with some of us, the one below will show no interest unless you can appeal to the one above.

Now I lay me down to sleep….