A Royal Disappointment: Masako Owada – the (would-be) Princess Diana of Japan...

The institution of royalty is an absurd anachronism and an ostentatious affront to the universal declaration that all people are created equal. Therefore, it redounds to our collective shame (as human beings) that so many people remain loyal and devoted to this inherently unjust imperial vestige of national governance. (And, that so many royals have proved incapable of conforming their behaviour to the requirements of common decency, to say nothing of royal etiquette, is the least of what informs my disdain for this institution).

Of course, one can be forgiven the impression that royal eyesores reign only in Europe and the Middle East because there is so little coverage in Western media about the royal families of Africa and Asia. But after commenting last week on that royal shrew - titled Princess Michael of Kent – my mind sought cleansing in reflections on the one royal who at least intrigues me and for whom I have grave concerns.

When Masako Owada of Japan entered public consciousness at 30, she seemed much less a sacrificial lamb than Diana Spencer did upon her debut at 19. But then Masako was a cosmopolitan career woman with graduate degrees from Harvard and Oxford. By contrast, Diana was a naïve babysitter whose education was capped at finishing school in Switzerland.

Therefore, when Masako married His Imperial Highness the Crown Prince Naruhito on 9 June 1993, I was dismayed but admittedly interested in observing how this liberated, educated and sophisticated woman would adapt to the confining and provincial protocols of royal life. (After all, despite subjecting herself to this fairytale marriage, Masako had more in common with Hillary Clinton than with Princess Diana.) In fact, truth be told, I was hopeful that she would help humanize, demystify and, ultimately, dethrone the Japanese Imperial family – which is the oldest continuous hereditary monarchy in the world.

Early in their marriage, Princess Masako perfected the coy Lady Di look to stunning effect, thereby, ensuring that her charismatically challenged Prince Naruhito would never feel too diminished in her presence (as Prince Charles came to feel when Princess Diana blossomed from the shy virgin he deflowered into a cocksure glamour puss he could not keep up with...).

Regrettably, as best as can be determined, Masako’s reign as crown princess has been fraught with even more despair and frustration than Diana’s reign as Princess of Wales. But where Diana’s marital woes stemmed from her unwillingness to accept the prominent role Prince Charles wanted his mistress to play in their marriage, Masako’s stem from her failure to produce a male heir. And, the fact that she finally gave birth to a healthy baby girl in 2001 seems to have only added insult to the dashed expectations of the Imperial family and her loyal subjects. (By contrast, the properly fecund Diana exceeded expectations in this regard by producing an heir and a spare; although it clearly did her no good.)

Alas, it is doubtful that Masako will ever fulfill her only royal duty that seems to matter. Because the unnatural anxieties that evidently inhibited her performance at 30 are bound to preclude the belated birth of a male heir at 42. Therefore, in light of such unforgiving stresses, it came as no surprise when the Imperial Household Agency announced last year that:

...Crown Princess Masako was exhausted [and had] excused herself from royal duties. [And] that she had taken refuge at her family’s home in a wooden mountain resort.

In fact, the Agency declared her “mentally ill” and conceded that no one had any idea when (or if) she planned to resume her royal duties.

The lasting image of Princess Masako (again emulating Princess Diana in looking forlorn of hope) as she was being driven last December from a Japanese sanatorium where she underwent treatment for her “adjustment disorder”...

Now, if Princess Masako had performed 10% of the royal duties Princess Diana performed - outside the bedroom - her exhaustion would be understandable. (What ancient Japanese rigors she may have endured behind closed doors trying to produce a male heir is another matter entirely.) But her reign as Japan’s Crown Princess was made ironically conspicuous, even troubling, by the fact that she hardly ever appeared in public. Indeed, her failure to play a more ceremonial role (at home and abroad) as the “symbol of the nation” has been almost as disappointing to Japanese monarchists as her failure to produce a male heir.

Meanwhile, lawmakers are busy trying to decide whether to change Japan’s Imperial succession rule to allow a female to ascend the Chrysanthemum Throne.

Because:

Under a post-World War II law, only males can assume the throne. There are no princes in the generation after Naruhito, whose younger brother has two daughters. Naruhito's only sister is 35 and says she has no immediate plans to marry.

And, as a loyal Japanese MP Satsuki Eda observed:

There is simply no reason why we shouldn't allow a woman to reign…I think it is a very good thing that we are able to discuss this issue, without worrying about taboos.

(Incidentally, Prince Albert recently decreed changes in Monaco’s succession laws; not so that a female could succeed him but rather contemptibly so that his black son could never ascend his Monegasque Throne.)

But despite being solicitous of finding legal daylight for her daughter to shine, lawmakers seem perfectly happy to allow Masako to languish in darkness for the rest of her days. Yet, ironically, it might be Masako’s intelligence that saves her from Diana's fateful end. Because she is probably sensible enough to understand that there’s simply no way she would ever be accepted in her role as Crown Princess or Empress of Japan unless she satisfies the chauvinistic demands of the Imperial household (by producing a male heir).

So, here’s to the Masako’s family for giving her refuge from the conspiring machinations of royal courtiers. And, may she find the happiness in her mountain retreat that no liberated and self-respecting woman could ever hope to find today in a royal marriage.

Note: Given her anxieties and depression about child birth, perhaps Masako should retain Tom Cruise for psychological counseling....

And, I shall deal with Africa’s notorious King Mswati III of Swaziland when he finally distinguishes himself by surpassing his Daddy’s booty of 60 wives. At last count, this 37-year-old hedonistic polygamist had taken wife number 13. But Mswati faces a formidable challenge from HIV/Aids for the dubious claim of ravaging the most teenage girls in his Kingdom....

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